When to Push Your Child

Parents all want what’s best for their child but what do you do when your child is faced with something that is challenging to them? How do you react when your child is scared, anxious, or even panicking in the moment? The way you respond to your child’s anxiety-inducing moment may play a huge factor in how your child approaches uncomfortable and challenging situations in the future.

While many parents often want to protect their child and not let anything happen to them, this avoidance may hold kids back from crucial growth experiences. Instead of letting children avoid these uncomfortable situations, parents should encourage and push for participation.

Take this scenario. There’s a class talent show that will be performed in front of the entire school. Your daughter has practiced her dance performance for the last two weeks and is so excited to show her dance skills to the school. On the day of the talent show, your daughter comes to you before the show is about to start feeling nervous and scared. She tells you she doesn’t want to do it anymore and begs you to let her skip the performance.

What do you do?

If you let her skip out on it, you’re sending a message that anytime she feels uncomfortable, it’s okay to give up. She may feel regret after seeing all of her friends and classmates performing. Feeling uncomfortable is a normal feeling for everyone. What we have to do is teach our children how to manage those uncomfortable feelings.

If you push her to do it, she may be extremely uncomfortable in the short moment, but she will feel proud of herself for pushing through and doing it. She will get praise from her friends and classmates. The next time things get uncomfortable, she will remember this time and know she will be able to work through it.

It’s natural for children and even adults to avoid activities or situations where they may feel uncomfortable or risk failure. However, it is during these times, that parents need to push their child. Parents are able to see the bigger picture and it’s on them to make the decisions for their child to prevent them from developing negative patterns of behavior that will affect them later on in life. While it may not be easy to watch your child struggle and fail, the ongoing push and support from you will eventually build courage in your child.

So, the next time your child is faced with anxiety and uncomfortable feelings, assess the situation and know that the value of a little parenting push goes a long way.