Struggle: Helping Children Grow Through Challenge

The Willows school-wide theme for the 2025-2026 school year is Struggle. Each day, we challenge students to uncover meaning and significance in the world around them and emphasize independence and courage in risk-taking. One of the most powerful ways children develop these skills is through something many of us instinctively want to protect them from: struggle.

To struggle is to face challenges to achieve growth, progress, and true learning. Struggle develops problem-solving and deep learning skills. We will encourage our students to embrace struggles with optimism and the expectancy of growth, accentuating that struggle is not always a negative experience, but a steppingstone to accomplishment.

It’s natural as parents to want to smooth the path, solve problems quickly, and shield our children from frustration. However, in reality, healthy struggle—working through challenges with support —gives children confidence, problem-solving skills, and emotional strength that will serve them for life.

Why Healthy Struggle Matters

Facing appropriate challenges builds resilience, allowing children to approach future obstacles with greater courage. Struggle encourages problem-solving, by pushing children to think creatively and critically. Most importantly, when children succeed after effort, they develop a deep sense of confidence and independence—the powerful belief that they are capable of performing any task they put their mind to.

Struggle also fosters emotional growth. It can bring feelings of frustration, disappointment, and sometimes anger. Experiencing these emotions in a safe environment helps children learn how to regulate them, building the emotional intelligence that will serve them in social relationships, academics, and life.

How Parents Can Encourage Healthy Struggle

Healthy struggle is about striking the right balance—stepping back enough to let them try, while being available for support if needed.

One way to do this is to encourage effort over perfection. Instead of praising outcomes alone, focus on persistence and strategy. For example, rather than saying “You’re so smart,” you might say, “I love how you kept trying different ways until you figured it out.” This shift teaches children to value the process of learning as much as the result.

Another strategy is to pause before stepping in. When your child is working on a puzzle, struggling with a math problem, or trying to tie a shoelace, resist the urge to immediately help. Give them space to experiment and make mistakes before offering guidance. The small frustrations they experience in those moments are actually productive and lead to lasting growth.

It also helps to normalize mistakes. Share your own experiences with setbacks and how you learned from them. When children see that errors are a normal part of life, they become less fearful of failure and more willing to take risks.

Providing age-appropriate challenges is another powerful way to incorporate healthy struggle into daily life. A young child might be responsible for pouring their own juice, even if it occasionally spills. An older child might plan part of a family outing, from selecting activities to navigating directions. For teens, encourage them to advocate for themselves with teachers or coaches rather than intervening on their behalf.

Finally, practice patience with yourself as a parent. Watching a child struggle can be uncomfortable, but it is important to remember that these moments of frustration are essential for growth. By holding back from immediately fixing the problem, you are giving your child the opportunity to build independence, resilience, and confidence.

A Gentle Reminder

Healthy struggle is not about making life harder for children—it is about preparing them for the world ahead. When children learn to persevere, manage frustration, and celebrate hard-earned success, they develop skills that will serve them for a lifetime.

At The Willows, we are committed to creating a learning environment where children are supported, challenged, and encouraged to grow. Together, we can give them the gift of resilience—the strength that comes not from avoiding struggle, but from working through it.