Resilience, Responsibility, Relationships, & Rest: A Look Into What Students Gained, Not Lost During the Pandemic

With the last 18 months being extremely difficult for many families and it’s very easy for parents to think about the educational and developmental losses that occurred in their children. What if we changed our lens, reframed our thinking, and took a closer look at what our children gained instead of lost in the last 18 months?

The picture starts to look a little different.

While this may be true for some families, it’s important to keep in mind that not every family had the same experience during the pandemic. Many factors contributed to how well or not a family was able to cope during the pandemic. The purpose of this article isn’t to overlook the difficulties and hardships the pandemic may have had on one’s family but rather to try and reframe our thinking, to find a little silver lining in what was a very difficult 18 months.

By switching our perspective lens, we can start to see the plenty of skills our children have gained:

• Resilience
• Responsibility
• Relationships
• Rest

Resilience

There’s no questioning that our children have gone through a difficult 18 months. Children had to transition overnight from being on campus with their friends to being isolated at home learning through a screen. Now they are at school but with many safety parameters. Desks are oriented differently; there are social distancing protocols; certain activities are no longer an option; and students are required to wear masks throughout the day. Things weren’t easy and still aren’t easy.

Even through all these disruptions and changes, our children coped and prevailed. They made it through what may be one of the most difficult and challenging times of their lives. Stressful times are an opportunity for our children to learn resilience and, for many of them, they did.

Our children learned how to bounce back. They learned how to adapt to the ever-changing circumstances that were thrown at them during the pandemic. The pandemic forced our children to deal with stress, loss, and anxiety head on. It challenged many of us to shift our mindset. We had to use the strategies we learned from RULER, breathing techniques, and mindfulness tips, to regulate our emotions. We’ve learned to handle our emotions, communicate better, and deal with our triggers, making us more resilient than we were before.

Responsibility

The pandemic has taught many of our children responsibility. Instead of relying on teachers at school, children were forced to rely on themselves. There was no teacher or friend right by their side the whole day. Many parents were working from home and couldn’t accommodate every need of their child throughout the day. Their children were now in charge of making their own snacks or getting the materials needed for the next Zoom class. They were required to log into Zoom at a certain time, turn in assignments, and get their reading done all on their own. Students were thrust into the driver’s seat of their own education.

The long periods of time at home, forced our children to be more proactive and independent. Many children gained life skills that may not have been learned otherwise at a young age. They learned how to independently operate technology, problem solve, take initiative, and entertain themselves. This level of responsibility will carry on for the rest of their lives as they encounter difficult situations along the way.

Relationships

More time was spent as a family than ever before. With most parents working from home, the time spent together under the same roof exponentially increased overnight. What typically would be 1-2 hours of family time per day, instantly turned into all hours of the day. Parents were forced to slow down and spend time with their children and not fret about getting their child to the next activity. Parents now had unstructured, unplanned, quality time with their children. Children’s lives were enriched with more cooking activities, art projects, games, outdoor time, and authentic conversations with their families.

For those that have siblings, being forced to stay at home only strengthened the sibling bond. When the pandemic hit, the siblings became their only play partners. They learned how to be flexible, understanding, and mindful of one another, while appreciating each other more than ever before.

Rest

For many, life before the pandemic was hectic. School during the day, activities after school, homework, dinner, bath, and bedtime. It was a constant go, go, go. The pandemic taught us to rest. It forced us to slow down and take a breath. Daily life can get very transactional, and the pandemic forced families to put their feet on the ground as opposed to always being on the run.  

Children and parents are taking it slower and enjoying more time outdoors or unplanned, unstructured time with each other. We’ve noticed how much children and parents enjoy this slower, unstructured pace compared to the jam-packed days with back-to-back activities after a long day at school.

As you can see, if you take a step back and put on a new lens, you can start to see the little wins that have occurred during the pandemic. While we continue to struggle and journey through the pandemic, remind yourself and your family to celebrate those little victories.